Why eat & be sad, when you could eat & be happy?

In the northern vestiges of Europe, land of the bacon-swilling Danes, those stupid Swedes, and oil-drilling Norwegians, there lives a candy--a candy called Tyrkisk Peber, produced by the candy company Fazer.

Directly translated as "Turkish Pepper," this striking candy houses at its center a cloud of salmiak, or in more international terms, ammonium-chloride. The reward for cracking through the black licourice shell is, as you guessed, comparable to the drinking of battery fluid. It burns. It's fire. It's liquid poison in your mouth. If you're new to the game of ammonium-chloride, you're likely to be shitting non-stop for two days. This chemical is used to treat two things: Renal failure and extreme constipation. You might ask me why this is candy, which is a fairly legitimate question. I might ask you the same about Warheads, SourPatch Kids, or Reese's.

Doctors have discovered in recent years that consuming this candy prior to the body's maturation at 21 causes big problems (though unclear what kind), and if you eat while you're pregnant, you have a 100% chance of going into early labor. To combat this most unfortunate discovery, Fazer took a leaf from Tobacco companies, labeling each bag with a bright red sticker plastered on the front, which reads "Not children's candy. Adults only."

Tell that to the 4 million people who grew up eating the stuff like a 5th basic food group. Thanks a lot, Fazer.