Dear Mother

Dear Mom,
I know that you aren't supposed to talk to me and that reading anything from me is open to interpretation. But I've been sick the last few days and it has made me miss you very much. I just want you to know that I do have some fond memories from my childhood.

I miss how you would rub Vap-o-rub on my chest, then pin a towel around my neck so I wouldn't stain my nightgown with greasy menthol rub. I miss how you would make me chicken noodle soup, letting it simmer in the crock pot all day. Cooking may not have been your greatest strength, but you knew how to make me feel better with that soup.

When my period started and I had cramps from hell, I remember how you would come in and rub my stomach and hold the heating pad against me. You knew from experience how much pain I was in and you never failed to comfort me during those times.

You see, there are lots of things I remember. Times you bought me clothes over Christmas break so I'd have new stuff at school like the other kids. The time you didn't tell dad I got super drunk when I was 17. The times when things were bad between you and dad and you confided in me about how hurt and disappointed you were in your marriage. The letters you wrote to me when I was in prison. I know you have your doubts about how your life played out and it pains me that you have such deep seated regrets. The time you told me to make sure that the man I fell in love with should want to take me dancing and not be a stick in the mud. The time you rebelled against the church and your husband to come to my wedding. How you still call me babe or punkin when we do actually talk.

I wanted you to know that I remember and I do love you. I'm sorry that I can't be the good Jehovah's Witness daughter that you want. Please just remember that you raised me to stand up for what I believe in, I just don't believe the same things you believe any more. I wish that fact would make you proud, but I know that it doesn't. Regardless, after all that has been left unsaid between our family, I just wanted you to know.....

Love,
Aimee