I call him the All American Boy. He smiles when he sees I have even changed his name in my phone to this nickname. He smiles the perfect All American Boy smile that only a man like him can. He's the 29, 6'1, blue eyed, successful at anything he puts a minimal amount of effort in to. Annoyingly handsome, especially when he smiles. Perfect white teeth, because he has never smoked cigarettes.
I met him at work. Just a customer like any other except something about his eye contact made me nervous. I dropped things in front of him and blushed furiously when he asked if he was making me nervous. As with most all american boys, his confidence borders on the edge of full blown narcissism. His self assurance is so sexy to me. His physical presence makes me feel heated and wanton.
He asks me for my number and I can't believe it. I know this is not about dating. We are not going to be 'friends'. We are going to do something much more raw than all of that. When I get to his house, I can barely sit still I am so nervous. He is the first man I have contemplated sex with since I have broken up with my husband. Six years with the same man, and I'm the older woman in this scenario. I am blushing and stumbling over my words.
He grabs my hands and holds them still while he looks me in the eye and begins to tell me how I don't need to be nervous. He isn't going to do anything I'm not comfortable with. He wants me to be comfortable and feel sexy because I am sexy. This beautiful specimen of a man thinks I'm sexy!!!!
We discuss boundaries and safety precautions like we are talking about what to have for breakfast. We smoke a bowl, and when he finally leans into to kiss me, I am calm. Butterflies, but calm. A page is turning inside me at this moment. My past is behind me. My mind registers the possibilities just as as my body takes over.
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