Naked Grace

Paulie woke slowly, aware of the soft light around him. Yawning he had a good stretch, then a scratch and he opened his eyes. At first he couldn’t make sense of what he saw. He thought maybe he was still dreaming. Slowly, it dawned on him that this wasn't a dream. He was naked, standing in a line, with about 1000 other naked people. His hands immediately dropped into a defensive posture but it didn't take long to realize how stupid that was. Everyone was naked. Wangers and hoohas everywhere but nobody cared. “Huh. Damn.” he thought, “I think I'm dead!”

Up in front of him the groups slowly broke out into individuals who advanced to a table. At the tables were the most beautiful beings he had ever seen. They looked human, but more. They were aglow with a life force Paulie couldn't comprehend. It was amazing.

Finally the line moved forward and it was Paulie’s turn. Nervously he walked up to the table. He looked down a little, not sure what the proper tone was to speak to someone so striking. “Name Please”, said the Angel with a gentle smile on his face. “Go ahead and sit down if you would like, this will take a little while.” Paulie settled uneasily on the chair and gave his full name “Paulison Benedict Carver. “ “Date of birth?” countered the angel. “Uh 10-29-44.” “ Ahh would you be Paulison Carver from Beaverton, Oregon?” asked the angel? “Yes Sir” Paulie affirmed.

The Angel continued to type on his tablet, swiping here and there. Pulling info in on Paulie? The thought made him nervous. “Well” he thought “At least I got right there at the end. Hopefully that helps a little.” 

While the Angel was compiling his info Paulie watched the other lines. Most of the people seemed to get up with a smile, shake the angels hand and walk straight in. It looked like the entrance to an elaborate garden. Paulie saw Black, Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Europeans. All kinds of people were heading into the garden. Occasionally he would see a family or a couple go through, laughing, entering in with the joy of where they were and being together. “Almost done” said Paulie’s Angel.

Looking over Paulie saw two women walking together, holding hands and heading for the garden. They stopped and smiled. Then they kissed and walked in through the gate. “ What the?!” Paulie exclaimed quietly. “That can't be right!”  “Do you have a question Mr. Carver?” inquired the Angel. He had stopped working and  Paulie noticed that one eyebrow was slightly raised, giving the Angel a more serious if not severe expression. “Well, yah", Paulie said “Those two women were obviously lesbians.” “And?” asked the Angel. “Well, um, then they can’t go in right? That isn't natural or what God wants.” Paulie said. The Angel sat back, arms folded and said “Oh really? Would you feel better about them knowing that they used a fake penis when they had sex? Would that fix it for you?” Paulie was aghast. “Of course not! That isn't, well, natural!”  The Angel shook his head and looked at his screen. “Well here I see that you used Viagra fairly regularly. Should I penalize you for that? After all those were ‘non-natural’ erections.” “That isn't the same thing!” Paulie explained “I slept with a woman!” “Yes you did.” The Angel confirmed. “Several women actually. Two who were married to other people I see.” The steam leaked out of Paulie. He hung his head. “Damn” he said. “So its fidelity that’s the hook? All the fags get in and I am gonna get the boot?” 

 The Angel let out a sad sigh and said “Excuse me a minute Mr. Carver.” A blinking light went on above their table and the Angel turned expectantly. Slowly a beautiful woman misted in, ending up right where the Angel was staring.  “Yes Gamaliel? How can I be of service?” Her voice was like music. Gamaliel the Angel sighed and said. “I have another one for re education” he explained. “Maybe start with Grace 101. He seems a little mixed up on the rules.”  “Of course” she said softly, glancing at the screen. “Mr. Carver is it? Would you like to come with me?”

 Paulie was torn. This new Angel was beautiful and that voice! But where was she taking him? Was he going to hell? Paulie’s throat was dry and he wasn't sure what to do. Gently she said “Don't be afraid Paulie. Actually I think there are a couple other people in class you may know. Brenda Bowers was in your church I believe. And Chris Thompson, from work? It will all be ok.”

 “Where am I going?” Paulie asked nervously. “We have a special section over here, where we teach our reeducation classes. Once we clear up your misunderstandings, you can get right back in line to try again. Don’t worry.” she explained. “Reeducation? Well that shouldn't take me too long.” Paulie said. “I was learning to read my Bible pretty good right before I showed up here.” A soft arm draped gently around Paulie’s shoulders as the Angel lead him away. “What we teach here has little to do with your Bible Paulie” she explained. The Bible is a wonderful instruction book but only if you start with the correct reference point.” “The correct reference point?” Paulie repeated “What do you mean?” The Angel stopped and looked Paulie directly in the eyes. “In order for those sacred texts to do you any good you have to understand what they are for. They are to help you shape yourself into the best, most evolved person you can be. To help you grow in love and acceptance of yourself. To teach you to walk in grace. Those texts are for you to use on yourself, not others. When you enter into judgment with them,  you invalidate grace. No one can enter without grace. But don’t worry Paulie. You can take as much time as you need. We don't mind going slow. That is one of the most important parts of grace. We never give up on anyone.”